Tuesday, 16 June 2009

I'm Diluting

To celebrate (ahem) National Homeopathy Week, here's a little song.

Sing to the tune of Pretty Woman by Roy Orbison.

I'm Diluting

©2009 Dale Williams


I'm diluting, up to 30C.

I'm diluting, it's homeopathy.

I'm diluting.

It won't relieve you, from your bad tooth.

It's not science and that's the truth.

Fancy.


I'm diluting, up to 60C.

I'm diluting, molecules I cannot see.

I'm diluting.

Making it as safe as it can be.

Are you kooky just like me?

Wow.


I'm diluting, to stop that bile.

I'm diluting, it takes a while.

I'm diluting, give your money to me.

I'm diluting, shake, shake, shake.

I'm diluting, all the day.

I'm diluting, say you'll imbibe from me.


'Cause I need you, to believe my rite.

Come treat your baby, I promise it's alright.


I'm succussing, my dilution's high.

I'm succussing, I don't know why.

I'm succussing, be ready today... okay.


I'll bump it to 200C, okay?

I guess water memory is the key

For the solution being weak as pee.

What do I think?

Is there a limit to this thing?

Yeah, there's a limit to this thing.

Oh, yeah, Avogadro.


Monday, 15 June 2009

Simon Singhs

Just a song to show my support to Simon Singh in his lawsuit against the BCA and English libel law.


I would have sung it but I can't sing at all - my voice sounds like a monotone tuneless drunk. Anyone want to sing it?


It should be sung to the (shortened) tune of American Pie by Don McLean. I used the Weird Al version myself.


This Simon Guy

©2009 Dale Williams


A short, short time ago...

A writer named Simon Singh

Was sued by the BCA

For questioning claims they were plying

That chiropractic treats prolonged crying

And, strangely, ear infections so they say.


The Guardian's reply was if you wish,

Write a response for us to publish.

The BCA refused to.

And said it's not you we're gonna sue.


It's that Simon guy we require

For defamation we will go and hire

A lawyer who will not tire.

An apology we do desire.


So my, my, our Simon the guy.

It may deflate yer someday later

But don't break down and cry.

We're all behind you and there's a simple reason why,

Because our law has gone badly awry.

Our law has gone badly awry.


It's come to something when you can't

Freely criticize or have a rant

Without fear of being sued.

And having to be the one to prove

That your statement was indeed all true

Instead of their unsubstantiated view.


Well we know that you are in the right.

And we'll back you in this awful fight.

Which will affect not only you

So we signed a petition or two.


And over the internet a rumbling was heard.

As freethinkers all over said this is absurd.

So into action they were spurred.

The day Simon was sued.


We started thinking.

My, my, our Simon the guy.

It may deflate yer someday later

But don't break down and cry.

We're all behind you and there's a simple reason why,

Because our law has gone badly awry.

Our law has gone badly awry.


Now he finally got to go to court.

For a preliminary that was oh so short

And ended in a tragedy.

The judge ruled there was a case to hear

Of the BCA promoting with good cheer

Bogus treatments for you and for me.


Oh, the BCA was glad of course.

Where was the balance in the courts?

They threw the onus on Singh.

Oh, proof he would need to bring

To show the dishonesty of the Association,

To avoid paying them compensation

And bring about a cessation.

He's still being sued by them.


We started thinking.

My, my, our Simon the guy.

It may deflate yer someday later

But don't break down and cry.

We're all behind you and there's a simple reason why,

Because our law has gone badly awry.

Our law has gone badly awry.


It's the law that's wrong you see,

Allowing the rich to go and bully

Without evidence of their own.

Science should be questioned as we all know,

But the libel laws do not allow

For all scientific criticism to be known.


And in the pubs: the scientists screamed,

The skeptics cried, and the lawmen steamed.

And angry words were spoken;

About English law being broken.

Where has our legal system gone?

To the dogs if this case you go upon.

So Simon continues to fight on.

He's still being sued by the BCA.


We started thinking.

My, my, our Simon the guy.

It may deflate yer someday later

But don't break down and cry.

We're all behind you and there's a simple reason why,

Because our law has gone badly awry.

Our law has gone badly awry.


We started thinking.

My, my, our Simon the guy.

It may deflate yer someday later

But don't break down and cry.

We're all behind you and there's a simple reason why,

Because our law has gone badly awry.

Sunday, 14 June 2009

If God is your answer to everything, crosswords must be quite boring.









ACROSS

2. You may know Him as Allah or Yahweh.

3. All powerful being.

4. Causes earthquakes. And floods.

5. Watches over you always.

6. Gave us morals.


DOWN

1. Where the universe came from.

2. Force that makes different creatures.

3. Likes to carve faces into objects.

4. Bananas fit nicely in the hand because of ...

5. What Adam & Eve had to do when they ate that apple.